Understanding energetic boundaries can help us to be more at peace with ourselves and others. There is a saying that good fences make good neighbors. Healthy boundaries that respect our own and others’ uniqueness, similarities, and differences contribute to our sense of well-being. It’s important from time to time, to take a mindful moment and make sure those fences are neither impenetrable nor so broken down that we lose track of where we end, and others begin.
Listening to our bodies
When we notice our bodies are more tired than usual, it’s important to take a moment and listen. It could be that it’s time for some rest. I’m a terrible rester. I really enjoy doing things and I can get myself into a place where I’m so depleted, my body goes on strike against me. For me this can look like exhaustion, depression, even anxiety or high levels of pain in my body. Usually I’m even listening and acknowledging as my body is sending me these signals, but in my stubbornness, I ignore the signs. It can be tough for us to negotiate ourselves into a place of rest. For many of us, we end up getting forced there by an illness or an injury.
A quiet space
It’s not until we can be in a quiet space with ourselves, that we can hear the truth available to us. Here we can have a sense of the great love and peace that is available to us on our journey. Gaining an awareness of healthy boundaries means learning to lean on others in a balanced way and then knowing when we need to be quiet and trust ourselves. It’s one of the highest levels of self-care to be able to recognize when we need time to ourselves to rejuvenate. For some of us, that rejuvenation comes when we are among those who accept us exactly as we are.
Our energetic fields
Our energetic fields are always interacting with other energies at any given time. We all have an energetic field that surrounds us. Some people call it an aura, some the human biofield. I like to refer to it simply as our energetic field. This field holds the energies and experiences we’ve had throughout our lifetime. A person’s energetic field can vary widely in size. There have been studies that have measured a typical resting human biofield at about 6 feet. This is interesting during a pandemic where we’re being asked to keep a social distance of 6 feet from other people to reduce the transmission of the COVID virus. Throughout each day, though, our fields can extend out significantly larger than 6 feet. If we are feeling small and inconspicuous, our energetic field can even shrink down and become smaller.
Once we consider the fact that our energy extends out from all of us, it becomes understandable that we could run into some boundary issues. It is very common for people working within the fields of healthcare and human services to find themselves depleted. They are taking on all sorts of energies every day without even realizing it. These are the people who tend to be the big-hearted healers that so many are drawn to. This also includes people who are tender-hearted friends, people in positions of service, and anyone, actually, who interacts with other people with the intent to help or ease or soothe. Unknowingly, in our attempts to help, we can take on energies that don’t belong to us. This can eventually lead to exhaustion. There is a relatively simple solution to this, however. Mindfulness. Learning to listen to our bodies and our intuitions can help us pause and be present. When we are able to acknowledge our energy levels, we can begin to work with visualization to create some healthy, energy saving boundaries.
Visualize a game of catch
Imagine a game of catch. Someone tosses you the ball, and you can decide to keep it and hold on to it, or you can toss it back to them. If you hold on to it, that ends the game. If you throw it back, you can enjoy the interaction with the person you’re playing with. In learning to create boundaries, it’s good to recognize when someone has sent energy into your field. Especially if it isn’t beneficial to you. When you are able to recognize this, you can send that energy back. I imagine the energy as that ball, and I can visualize sending it back to the person it came from. If you’re feeling unwanted energy in your space, but aren’t sure where it’s coming from, you can still send it away by visualizing tossing that ball. Visualize the ball going back to the place from which it was thrown. This requires some imagination but when learning to create healthy boundaries, our thoughts are very powerful.
Becoming positive and responsible
There are plenty of moments throughout our days where we send our own energy out toward projects, or people, sometimes even just wildly in all directions. During moments of mindfulness, we may find we are feeling particularly depleted or scattered. At this point, we can imagine ourselves as a magnet. We can ask for our energy to return back to us. In this way, we are also learning to become more positive and responsible energetic beings. This process of becoming mindful helps us to become better listeners to ourselves and others.
Peace and well-being
Our bodies are wonderful communicators that let us know when we need to be paying attention. Cultivating a practice of mindfulness helps us to pause and be curious about our energy. When we understand how to send away, or draw back our energy, we are reinforcing healthy boundaries with those around us. In that space of mindful awareness, we can experience a sense of peace and well-being.